I'm currently completing revisions on my fourth book, in which the MC Roseann is a psychotherapist who turned her life around from self-destruction, but then reverts to her "bad girl" behavior when events occur that remind her she is useless, bad & unworthy -- which is what her adoptive mother always told her, after she unexpectedly gave birth to a biological daughter when Roseann was three. So Roseann carries the scars not only of abandonment but also of shame.
When my mother killed herself in front of me when I was 2 1/2, my father gave me & my brother away to his youngest sister 2500 miles away, but when that woman had a baby girl two years later, I was unwanted; she gave me away (but not my brother) to her oldest sister in the next state. My new owner adopted me, changed my name, and constantly reminded me "NO ONE wanted you. Your Daddy didn't want you. I took you because I had three boys and no girls to help around the house. So if you don't get to work, it's off to the orphanage you go."
Although I ran away from the physical & psychological abuse (even death threats!) when I was 15, you cannot imagine how many years I fought all those buried traumas.
And now, even when I plan a story that has none of that in the plot, somehow my characters inevitably go there. First book had dysfunctional family, violent deaths and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Sequel found the victim of all that trauma suffering from ComplexPTSD, and the 3rd/last of trilogy has his wife struggling to protect herself & their child from his disordered behavior and also reclaim her true Self.
It stays with you long after you think you've escaped it.
That sounds incredibly tough and beyond what any child should face. I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s a lot to carry and makes sense that those feelings and traumas would find their way into your stories. Though I don’t imagine it’s always cathartic, it takes a lot of courage to pour those kinds of experiences into your work. That kind of depth is part of what makes your work so powerful. Thank you for sharing. I admire your openness and strength.
I'm currently completing revisions on my fourth book, in which the MC Roseann is a psychotherapist who turned her life around from self-destruction, but then reverts to her "bad girl" behavior when events occur that remind her she is useless, bad & unworthy -- which is what her adoptive mother always told her, after she unexpectedly gave birth to a biological daughter when Roseann was three. So Roseann carries the scars not only of abandonment but also of shame.
When my mother killed herself in front of me when I was 2 1/2, my father gave me & my brother away to his youngest sister 2500 miles away, but when that woman had a baby girl two years later, I was unwanted; she gave me away (but not my brother) to her oldest sister in the next state. My new owner adopted me, changed my name, and constantly reminded me "NO ONE wanted you. Your Daddy didn't want you. I took you because I had three boys and no girls to help around the house. So if you don't get to work, it's off to the orphanage you go."
Although I ran away from the physical & psychological abuse (even death threats!) when I was 15, you cannot imagine how many years I fought all those buried traumas.
And now, even when I plan a story that has none of that in the plot, somehow my characters inevitably go there. First book had dysfunctional family, violent deaths and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Sequel found the victim of all that trauma suffering from ComplexPTSD, and the 3rd/last of trilogy has his wife struggling to protect herself & their child from his disordered behavior and also reclaim her true Self.
It stays with you long after you think you've escaped it.
That sounds incredibly tough and beyond what any child should face. I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s a lot to carry and makes sense that those feelings and traumas would find their way into your stories. Though I don’t imagine it’s always cathartic, it takes a lot of courage to pour those kinds of experiences into your work. That kind of depth is part of what makes your work so powerful. Thank you for sharing. I admire your openness and strength.
Hi Zelly, I suspect you already know Alice Stephens. If not, look her up. I haven't read your book yet, but I know Alice has similar views (maybe more emphatic than yours - she's adopted and rails against it.) Here's a recent review of hers: https://www.washingtonindependentreviewofbooks.com/bookreview/relinquished-the-politics-of-adoption-and-the-privilege-of-american-motherhood